From a child’s point of view…

No age is too young to know about a pending divorce. If I am old enough to acknowledge the existence of each parent, I should be told something about your break up.

What I am told depends on my age and maturity. I will need to be told something, according to my levels of understanding.


During a divorce, children need their parents more than ever.

  • Do not assess blame. Blaming indirectly asks me to choose sides and to label one parent good and one parent bad.
  • Explain clearly and directly that divorce is between parents. This will quiet the almost universal fear that, if parents divorce each other, then they can also divorce their children.
  • Emphasize that I did not cause the divorce and therefore I cannot bring my parents back together.
  • Give me some idea of what I may expect in the future. Be realistic and focus on areas of most concern, such as possible changes in living arrangement or school.
  • Encourage me to ask questions. (I may have questions for a long time.)
How to Tell a Child About Divorce